Debunking Sexual Myths With Dr. May
Debunking Sexual Myths With Dr. May.
Our sexuality as humans have a psychological aspect. A lot of people know that orgasms are therapeutic and provide relaxation. But do you know that some sexual disorders are related to one’s psychology? Some people may find it hard to believe that not all sexual disorders are caused by STIs or a pathological disease. Ignorance, misinformation, superstition and improper sex education contribute towards these psychosexual disorders. Let’s debunk some sexual myths.
1 MYTH: Men don’t need sex that much, they just want it.
FACT: Men need to have sex 21 times a month to be healthier.
Wahala for who never marry! The risk of prostate cancer or an enlarged prostate is increased when the glands which produce semen is blocked because it is not frequently in use. Low sexual activity in a man can facilitate impotency. Chances of a lot of men being impotent are higher if they don’t indulge in as many sexual activities as 21 times in a month. To avoid this, become a firebrand, lol.
2. MYTH: Women don’t have high sexual drive.
FACT: Women have higher sexual desires and drive.
Women need more sex than men. Before I start explaining, let me paint a picture. Remember that your erratic female boss that doesn’t let you close on time, yells at you, always angry like an angry bird, and typically just always acts like she’s always doing vigil with her village people. Yeah, that one! And then suddenly she starts seeing a “whole man” and fiàaam! She starts smiling, throwing jokes around, giving good vibes and being generally relatable? Lol. She’s doing the “do.”
Sex is a powerful drug and as a woman, it cures you of temporary emotional issues. Women are known to be the most emotional gender, battling with a lot of emotions. Happy one minute, sad the next. Good love making has proven to be an instant cure for this.
Also, women are capable of multiple sex orgasms unlike their counterparts. Some women are just getting started after the 5th round. Great warrior of Kuvuki Land, I greet thee!
Middle aged women are more likely to have numerous sexual desires to fulfill than girls in their 20s. This, as per science, is because women start nearing the age of menopause and often fear that their sexual drives will diminish over time.
3 MYTH: Breast sucking and sex makes the breasts sag
FACT: Breast sucking will not make your breast a “Fallen Hero” or cast of “Olympus has Fallen.” Sex will also not make your breast sag.
Whether you think your boobs are from the tribe of Nebuchadnezzar or the descendant of Mohamed, or perhaps they are an epic description of “Olympus has fallen,” “The Lion and the Lamb,” “The helpless Samaritan,” “The Ice Block that never Melts,” “The Upwardly Mobile Astrologians,” and so on, whatever category you fall under, know this: breast sucking does not make your breast sag. Sex does not make your breast sag. Fondling and smooching most certainly does not make your breast sag either.
Your breast sagging is a function of the genetic makeup of a human body and body type. It has nothing to do with sex or fondling and smooching. We all grew up with these misconceptions and myths especially around this part of the continent that wayward women have sagging boobs because many men have taken turns on her. These are ridiculously senseless and baseless assumptions. Nothing is further from the truth.
I have seen virgins with sagging boobs and I have also seen women with high body mileage with “Ice block that never Melts” kind of boobs.
Sex and breast sucking will not make your breasts sag. Stop body shaming people or even yourself. It’s a medical fact.
4 MYTH: Breast sucking has no health benefits
FACT: Women should beg their men to suck their breasts. It will save your life. Literally.
Asides from the freaky excitement that breast sucking comes with, it will save your life and that of your partner, and here’s why:
If a woman’s breast is sucked long enough, it increases her heart rate interchangeably (not talking of palpitations). This is a very good exercise for your heart as inhaling and exhaling more often will prevent a variety of diseases. So all you aunties that are trying to kill yourselves at the gym, your best heart rate is exercise is at home.
And if you’ve been under so much stress lately, some studies have shown that sucking and massaging a breast simultaneously and vigorously helps to reduce chances of breast lumps which can develop to cancer. It helps in easy flow of hormones and prevents lumps in the breast and helps you reduce the risk of having breast cancer. And speaking of breast cancers & lumps, one of the easier ways to find lumps in your breast is when it is examined and fondled. A lot of women have found this to be true.
And Madam, all those skin care products you’ve been spending your money on, is not necessary. Breast sucking helps female facial muscles move and this is useful for improving blood flow in the skin and smoothening the skin. It helps you look more youthful. It’s a natural remedy that stimulates the immune system, resulting in the production of antibodies that can protect against viruses.
And excuse Sir, if you’re still thinking about one of the fastest ways to get her to reach orgasms, suck and fondle that breast. You’ll be saving her life.
5. MYTH: As a woman, asking for and initiating sex makes you promiscuous
FACT: Normalize asking for and initiating sex like men do. No! You’re not promiscuous, it’s your right, own it.
Whether we like it or not, or say it often or not, some of our societal constructs and beliefs need to be re-evaluated, thoroughly and openly discussed and in fact, challenged. Some things don’t absolutely make sense, particularly the box that the female gender has been placed in, sexually speaking. Because, how can two people have sex or were made for sex and it is only one person that can or has the moral, social and cultural permission to initiate sex and the other person has to wait to be wanted or needed or used?
Studies have shown that women need more sex than men can ever know or realize especially because more than a century of conventional wisdom says women don’t like sex as much as men do. All lies! Women like having sex but they don’t like being socially punished or labeled as a slut for it.
Socially, many men still find it a turnoff or immoral when women are sexual aggressors and initiators. A lot of women are still afraid and frightened to ask, out of fear of how they will be perceived. This leads to heightened sexual dissatisfaction and could lead to seeking alternatives outside their partner.
If you can have sex, then either of you can intiate it.
6 MYTH: Talking about sex makes you spoilt
FACT: Talking about sex makes you informed, educated and aware.
I know having conversations about sex can be daunting, intimidating and vulnerable but isn’t that where real growth, awareness and acceptance comes from? I’m very aware of how specifically the “black society” hasn’t made this entire process and conversation easy to unpack. You either grew up with parents who shy away from talking about this or think it is uncomfortable and immoral to discuss this, so children grow up to be the same adults they resent. So the circle continues. I even know of popular outlandish tales some very conservative parents have told their kids to maybe scare them away from having or talking about sex. Something like, “if a man as much as touches you, you will get pregnant.” Lol. Like pregnancy is a contagious virus or it just jumps at you without will.
While we can say that our parents didn’t try, we slowly and easily become the adults they were. Listen, not being able to talk about anything you want is demonic and should not be encouraged. Push past this stereotype and become comfortable to talk about sex like the way you talk about the increase in petrol price.
7 MYTH: Swallowing sperm makes you fat
FACT: Swallowing sperm won’t make you add weight even if you drink a gallon
If you like, go and buy 25 liters of sperm in Shomolu or Èkó market, it won’t make you fat or even make you add weight. I know Sister Carol and Aunty Ramota have told you to keep swallowing and drinking it.
Despite its reputation for being a rich source of protein, you would likely have to consume gallons of semen to see any dietary health benefits. Yes, but not as many as you might think. Contrary to popular belief, sperm isn’t highly caloric. Each teaspoon of ejaculate – the average amount of ejaculate produced at one time – is around 5 to 7 calories which is around the same as a stick of gum.
8 MYTH: The vagina needs to be cleaned and tightened with products
FACT: The vagina is a self-cleansing, stop dry-cleaning it with detergents
Ladies (and the men that love them), listen up. I know Aunty Kafaya and Sister Tolani have told you that there are different flavours to steam, bake and fry your vagina to keep it yummy.
Think of your vagina as your eyes. The eye has natural tears and lubrication that flows through the glands and keeps it clean daily and also protects it from bad bacteria. It’s the same way the vagina cleans itself. This is not to legalize bad hygiene, but to normalize not dry-cleaning your vagina like your white bra.
I don’t recommend putting anything up in the vagina to clean it, but if you must, use very mild soap and water outside where the pubic hair would be or is. Make sure your soap is dye free, doesn’t contain harsh products, or use an Aboniki type of soap because your village people are calling your name at 12 midnight.
9 MYTH: Masturbation is harmful
FACT: Masturbation is healthy and normal.
Some people have asked questions like, “So we that are not married, how are we suppose to have sex? How else can we release sperm from our prostate gland? So as a single man, should I mow go and be having sex with plenty girls to have the 21 times sex per month as I am not married? Can I masturbate and is masturbation wrong?”
Most people masturbate at some point in their lives. There are tons of myths and beliefs meant to scare you into thinking that masturbation is bad. The truth is, it is perfectly safe. It won’t make you blind, crazy, stupid demonic or useless. It however has it’s cons. When it is done in excess, it becomes harmful. As with everything, anything done in excess is bad.
People masturbate for different reasons; to relax, to explore and understand their body better, to release sexual tension, their partner is not around or she is pregnant. I think it’s a great way to figure out what you like and what makes you have an orgasm, then you can show or tell your partner what feels good. It is safe because there is no risk of STDs and unplanned pregnancies.
10 MYTH: Feedback during or after sex isn’t neccessary
FACT: Communication is a great component of sex
Sex should be fun, but it can also be complicated. A lot of people get really intimidated about the idea of giving feedback during and after sex, especially since you rarely see this kind of communication in a sex scene on TV or in the movies. There’s this stereotype that we’re supposed to be able to have sex without any communication neccessary, but feedback is an absolutely crucial component of great sex.
If it hurts, feels good, almost there, never there, tell him or her. If you can have sex, then you can discuss sex. This is what I was talking about when I discussed masturbation. You need to have explored your body in order to be able to guide your spouse on what to do. Do you know the popular Gräfenberg area or Gräfenberg spot, aka, the g-spot? It is an erogenous zone inside the vagina of women.
Remember, feedback is a gift. Think of it this way: everytime you tell your spouse how they should touch you and what you want in bed, you are actually giving them a gift, a gift that is functional and beneficial for the both of you. Be kind and compassionate when you’re telling them. Don’t be callous. Tell them in love and with the aim to get better. Be reminded, it’s feedback, not instruction. Sex should be enjoyed not endured.
11 MYTH: Pulling out during sex is a sure way of preventing pregnancy
FACT: You can still get pregnant even if he pulls out
When he says “My pull out game is very strong,” “I am Indabosky, liquid metal.” All lies! Don’t listen because it will end in premium tears.
Pulling out doesn’t really have a science bit to share with you. In fact, it’s probably been around before we had a word for science. Pulling out is also called coitus interruptus or the withdrawal method. It requires great self-control, experience and trust, and as such, it is pretty unreliable. It works, some of the time, by the man taking his penis out of the vagina before he ejaculates, limiting the chances of any sperm reaching the egg. However, not all sperm are released at climax, some are a little more eager than that, especially at pre-cum. So much even though you don’t finish off, you might still get pregnant.
Even if a man pulls out in time, pregnancy can still happen. In fact, 22% of people using the pull out method become pregnant. Using morning after pills like Postinor prevents pregnancy but does not abort a child and can only be used 72 hours after unprotected sex. Asides from getting pregnant, not practicing safe sex exposes you to so many things and of course, sexually transmitted diseases are high on that list.
12 MYTH: The main purpose of sex is procreation
FACT: Sex isn’t just for procreation. You’re not a poultry. Enjoy and explore every bit of it.
So I know a lot of women and of course, some men strongly believe that the primary function of their private part is to either score a goal or incubate an entire football team on their family tree. And the truth is, we should all just ship you to 1952 AD because you’re not really doing Ok. Your village people might be frying akara with your brain.
The truth is, sex is largely more for enjoyment, exploration and expression. Your vagina is not a poultry incubator processor. In fact, with the way school fees are increasing, how do you do it? Lol.
Exploring new ways together overtime brings couples together because they can reveal a high level of intimacy and vulnerability to each other.
13 MYTH: Sex should only be had at night
FACT: Anytime is the perfect time for sex
Try early morning sex, not only at night. You no be witch. Early morning sex is the dopest. I’m sure some of us reading this were conceived by it. A lot of people think that sex should only happen at night and perhaps in the dark. Morning sex helps you ease into your workday. It can boost your energy level and relieve stress. Having an orgasm definitely improves your mood, and best of all, your bond with your partner.
There’s no reason why you shouldn’t incorporate morning sex into your daily schedule. Morning is the perfect time for sex because, quite frankly, your body’s ready for it. That’s because estrogen and testosterone levels are at their peak during this time and not to mention, Oga will last longer because speaking of hormones, the more testosterone, the better the sex. High testosterone level can increase erection strength.
Morning sex can also bring you and your partner closer together because it releases the “cuddle hormone,” oxytocin.
So instead of going about your day shouting at your staff at work, fighting someone in traffic, abusing someone on a queue, Aunty, Uncle, your solution might just be morning sex. So the question is, have you had your prescription today? Imagine climaxing before you head to work.
14 MYTH: It is Ok to stick to one location for sex
FACT: Exploring sex in different places or locations inside or outside your house is very neccessary
Expanding your sexual experiences outside the bedroom can bring you closer to your partner, teach you what turns you on and help you feel sexually empowered. Changing locations removes you from the things in your home (including your kids) that stress you out. It also gets your adrenaline pumping, like a failing generator that needs oil, which helps you get even more aroused than usual and the best way to explore and enjoy sex is by being spontaneous. Don’t eat your rice with a fork all the time, sometimes use chopsticks.
Truth is, getting it on in a new location is more thrilling, risky, invigorating and fun. So if you think sex with your partner have been boring or might be heading there, spice it up.
And if we’re being real, have you tried having sex on the beach? On the stairs? In the back of your car? Inside the pool?
15 MYTH: One sex position is enough
FACT: Switching up positions is much more stimulating. Not every time, “open your legs.” Sometimes come through with the Japanese Kung Fu and the “Monkey Shadow.”
Many have been told that the missionary position or style is the narrow way to heaven as a minister that you are. But get this: proper ministration requires a beholding, surrender, exploration and reckless abandon.
Surrendering is good, but “reckless abandon” is the koko of this matter. Allow yourself to reach for the freaky side of you. Normalize switching up your sexcapades with your partner. It’s even more exhilarating when your partner can’t see you coming.
Try Kung Fu, Monkey Shadow, The Lost Apple, Sledgehammer, Faceoff, Pretzel Dip, the Clarion Call, Cowgirl’s Helper.
I rest my case! Visit my instagram page for more update!