20 YEARS OF LEARNING SERIES
I remember the first month of our marriage, I was very ambitious & was moving up very quickly in my medical career path, I might have just started my houseman-ship or so at the time, I’ll just notice that when I get back home, ogà will just be looking at me like somebody that was trying to put me up for sale on Jumia .The irritation in his eyes were unexplainable.
Let me explain, I know we talked about alot of things before we got married, but I don’t think we really dissected what our day to day activities would look like living together, like I said yesterday, discussing “Expectations “.
So Oga expected me to always make breakfast every morning when he was in town before I resume work at 8am. Like every morning o? This was his expectations”, mine was, “Oga already knows how hectic my schedule is, when he gets to work, he can ask his secretary to help him order breakfast ” abi? so I’ll just wake up and bounce to the hospital with no care in this world, but Oga was fuming seriously, he didn’t tell me at the time, he also might have just expected me to know, but of cause this was affecting our communication and peace.
After awhile, it was apparent that “water don pass garri”, we both decided to sit down and discuss the issue. Now, it is important that you know that discussing an issue with a LAWYER (That had never lost a case) is no small feat #StoryForAnotherDay
So we sat down and compared expectations, discussed them thoroughly and realized that, the expectations weren’t as important as to why it is a need for your partner, what it represents for & communicates to them? Òmo! My Omo was Omo-ed!! So we readjusted our expectations to suit each others needs and current reality.
Clarifying an expectation means you get to set a new one, this time, together.
So my cook or nanny at the time does the heavy lifting of getting all the I need ready before 7am, in 15mins i was done and ready to go. BOOOOOM! There’s peace once upon a time in the Kadiri’s residence. All is well with the world.
What you don’t discuss, you can’t expect. #ContinuedinNextPost
Somebody shouttt Amennnnn?