20 YEARS OF LEARNING SERIES
People are expected to fight! But you and your partner must KNOW HOW TO FIGHT properly!
You’ve to get good at Fighting. Let me explain…..
A relationship is a Living, breathing thing. Picture it like the body & muscles, it cannot get stronger without stress and challenges. You have to fight. You have to hash things out, except someone is pretending and you know what’s funny, Obstacles make the marriage.
One of the first things that I quickly had to learn in my marriage was choosing my words correctly and making sure that i don’t break my partners spirit becuz i was upset about something. Trust me, for the people that are married to lawyers ehn (check on them o 😭🤣 those people are strong people) becuz every conversation can quickly become a “Call to Bar exercise” or a court case deposition” 😭🤣 if you’re not tactical & wise🤷🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
I had to learn the following quickly or my village people would have visited my marriage since o 🤥😱
1, I understood that arguements are a difference in opinion, it doesn’t equate to one person won and the other lost. We are both on the same team.
2, I must approach my partner with ‘Respect”, bcuz eye wey dey cry dey see road 🤥 . This is the game changer honestly. If your partner sees this, they know that this is not a “3rd world war, they are likely to mirror the same tone & behaviour and surrender their weapons peacefully. 😁✌️
3, I approached every conversation with curiosity and empathy, wanting to truly understand Oga’s point of view (especially becuz i know that i married a very intelligent man, he will have his own opinion, but i just might not share his sentitments, but it is ok to acknowledge them)
4, Like i said in previous posts, Try not to “Criticize & assassinate your partners character #Mr&MrsAssasine 😭🤣 i.e (You’re so stupid” Vs “That thing you did might come across as insensitive “) Address the issue, not entirely the person.