20 YEARS OF LEARNING SERIES
Combining families after marriage can be challenging. Suddenly, you have additional parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents even 🤦🏽♀️🙆🏾♀️ as if, the one in your own immediate family is not enough….but the list goes on and you know what’s shocking? You have to atleast get to know them and create a relationship with them 😊 abi, you were not informed? 🤣😭 #Inmamapatiencevoice 🙈
But one of the more challenging relationship is btwn MIL and DIL, there’s no guarantee that you will be best friends, but you must atleast get along 😁. Like I said in my previous post, I’m not saying that some Mothers-in-law & Daughters-in-law are not inherent psychopaths, I am just saying that, some people become psychopaths by how they are handled and treated.
My MIL loved her Son greatly, he was the apple of her eyes, and the implication of her son bringing home the “apple of his own eyes” cannot be an easy adjustment if we are being honest 🤦🏽♀️,(Whahala for who no get apple of their own eyes o 🤣🤣😭🙆🏾♀️🙈) there will be that subtle competition for equal attention, “imposition of her own parenting manuals and the subtle instructions of how to build your home” etc🤦♀️, this can be uncomfortable, but it is a big adjustment.
Some of you just want to marry your husbands and cut him off completely from his root, isolate him from his mum & family, you just want him to focus ONLY on you 🤦🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️, “no be juju be that?? 🙄😱🤔 this is absolutely ridiculous and unhealthy. Don’t be this kind of woman pls. The man you fell in love with didn’t just fall from the sky, someone/ some people raised him and all of that cannot be erased becuz he fell in love.
Try to slowly fit in if you notice that your MIL is the overly attached person, let your husband do the severing, put yourself in her shoes, your vows at the altar cannot suddenly erase 30+ years of nurture. Thing is, alot of DIL are too hasty, selfish, inconsiderate and impatient.
Be understanding, this is her son too, while he’s the Love of your life, she nurtured, sacrifice, gave her all- everything for him to be who he is today, I think just for this reason, you need to approach the relationship with your MIL with utmost Respect, be patient with her, get to know her – go and visit her just for “vibes”, take her out, try and take care of her (Not just cut her son off from her), be inclusive, be polite, Resist the urge to compete with her. Truth is, when she feels respected and included, all these pressure for performance won’t be necessary. Woman need to develop the skill to be more diplomatic, political in handling the affairs of this delicate relationship. Not every MIL is a witch, you just don’t know how to manage people. #IamcomingfortheMILsoontoo
But ladies, Wisdom is profitable to direct. Seek it! Borrow it! Steal it 😅😭, whatever you sha do, just get it. Deal?