20 YEARS OF LEARNING SERIES

Counseling is good, but therapy is better.

Your imam is not a Therapist!
Your pastor is not a therapist!
I know they fill this role in so many people’s lives, but there is the place for a counsellor and the place of a therapist. The difference come down to education, training, and licensing standards.

When I sit with couples who are experiencing some rocky challenges in their marraige, the first thing I quickly want to know is the foundation of that union. Were you counselled before marriage?, how were you counselled? Who counselled you? What areas and topics were covered? What is the basis of the conclusions that were formed or imposed?

Truth is, some religious institutions are not qualified to provide counselling to Intending couples, their opinions are not only extreme, baseless and un-spiritual, they are sentimental, religious and impractical.
In those dusty, outdated and ancient doctrine folders, do you talk about real life day to day issues devoid of patriarchy or rusty cultural bias, the past, their traumas, upbringings, expectations, mental health assessment & evaluations, addictions, anxiety, depression, SEX, etc

The problem sometimes are, when some religious institution personnel are counseling, they either sugarcoat things, stay on the surface of the matter, or over religious-lize their summations when they don’t have all the answers, hence leaving you curious and more confused. For some couple that I’ve sat with, I can categorically tell you that the foundation of their problems started from who gave them counsel and it is evident in the way they react to issues. Why tell an intending couple to “Only have sex when they want to make babies”  “That Sex is only for procreation” ah! Aàáradugbò o! Whattt?

I’m not against religious institution counselling o, I am just cautious of who and where you get those counsel from, but my position stays the same, Intending couples are better off seeing a therapist before they get married, than sitting with a religious counsellor.

Continued in next post…..