Dear Parents, Be Extra This Holiday Period.
It’s Okay To Be Extra This Holiday Period.
Some years back we had a young boy admitted because the last wrap of marijuana he took was from a mallam’s shop 2 blocks away from his house. You heard right, mallam’s shop, the man with the popular table with a roof over it and selling some household items with various candies. The people we know as maiguard, security guard, etc, some also sell DRUGS.
This particular day, he couldn’t leave the estate because he was under the watch of his parents, but was told by his friend that he could get from the mallam. Just after some minutes of taking this particular brand, he became paranoid and was acting suspicious. He later became violent which lead to his admission.
What about the nanny that is using a 9year boy to take care of her sexual urges and the 5year old daughter of the house for a threesome while the parents believed she was the best nanny they have ever had until both had severe infections and the girl had nightmares that made her see a therapist and still seeing one.
Oh, the driver that sleeps with the 14 and 16year old daughters anytime he is asked to take them for movies and their friends houses. He told them he will blackmail them because he saw them talking to boys once at the movies. Now, they are at his mercy and parents are busy attending all parties in town. The girls could only reach out via social media because one is pregnant and looking at ways to abort the child while the other is depressed with suicidal thoughts. The parents just got to know and now the whole family is thrown into a dark festive mood.
Dear parents, please, be very extra this period. A lot of things are happening right under our roofs and we are blinded to some of them.
Here are some of the ways to deal with these issues. Also, feel free to share with me any of your experiences or the ones you have heard of….
1. Talk to your children more this period and always.
2. Be observant to both their verbal and non verbal communication from them.
3. Know their friends and their families. Don’t allow your children to talk to strangers without your consent. Don’t do sleep overs unless they are people you trust 101%.
4. Know your staff, do your due diligence before recruiting, put cameras in the house if you can and ensure your children tell you what goes on when you aren’t around. Don’t let your children go out alone with your domestic staff .
5. Follow your children on their social media handles and check what they say. One rule, don’t make comments, but rather use what you read to do family meeting about what is going on without mentioning names.
6. Help your child to build healthy self esteem so they wouldn’t be used as sex toys just because they are afraid of telling you what is happening to them.
7. Learn to listen non judgmentally to them . Listen to understand, but not to respond.
8. Be more present, than giving more presents. This means, ensure you give your children quality time as against quality gifts. Your presence is more important than the presents.
9. The act of praying, eating and playing together as a family is very key. This helps bonding, breaks the wall of the ability for your child to speak to you. Our children need to be heard more.
10. Above all, dear parents lets not be blinded to our own challenges too. Some of us are trying to deal with our past traumas and we can’t be seen been vulnerable to our children. I plead that we let our children know this aspect of us so that they know we are also humans .What we don’t have, we can’t give. If you aren’t happy, you can’t teach your children happiness. If you haven’t dealt with your trauma, you can’t understand when they are traumatized too. Lets break the CYCLE.. it’s doable and achievable for a healthier , wealthier and happier family.
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