SELF CARE TIPS: DO NOT BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF
Life can be unfair sometimes. As human beings we face trial after trial and most times we don’t anticipate these challenges. We have people who treat us poorly, or disrespect us unprovoked but the truth is while we can’t entirely control what life throws at us or how people treat us, we can control how we treat ourselves.
Contrary to what you may believe, you are the most influential person in your life. Your thoughts, perceptions and outlook of life and its challenges can help you live a life of happiness regardless of what your circumstances propose or what people say about you and that’s why this topic I am writing about today is so important.
If people tag you as a failure in life, if you don’t believe you are a failure then you aren’t. Over the years, you must have heard of people who regardless of what people said about them they came out on top.
There might even be some of you who are reading this and have a story of how people looked down on you but you came out on top.
(If this is you I want to tell you this if no one has – well done! Please share your story in the comment section, I would love to celebrate with you)
You can admit that the journey to the top of a mountain is not a smooth one. It takes days, weeks and for the really high ones, months- but the truth is; it is absolutely possible to climb to the highest top of a mountain, it just requires persistence and a spirit that never gives up. To get to the top or achieve anything whilst maintaining optimum wellness, you need a lot of self-love and compassion. So please, don’t be too hard on yourself.
You will make mistakes! You are human. However, when you stumble, get back on your feet again. Your journey to success may not be a linear path. It may be haphazard but just as an object moving in a linear direction eventually gets to its destination so does one moving in a haphazard direction. Both object will still end up in a state of rest.
On that note here are some ways you can be less hard on yourself
- Recognize that mistakes are a part of life: We all make mistakes, however your ability to rise back up after making those mistakes is what’s important. When you make a mistake instead of saying or thinking things like “I’m such a failure” “why am I so foolish?”, remember that you are human and you make mistakes. There is no one who has never made a mistake because mistakes are a definite part of life.
- Avoid comparing yourself with others- One of the major factors why we put so much pressure on ourselves or talk down on ourselves is because of comparison. It’s so important to realize that your journey in life is so much different from the life of those around you.
With the emergence of tech jobs young people are now feeling more pressured to make money because they see their age mates travelling and buying luxury items but to that I will say, take it easy on yourself.
As controversial as this may sound, I don’t entirely believe that comparison is a bad thing- It can be a good propeller to move you forward however when you compare yourself with someone and use that person’s success to look down on yourself, that’s where the problem lies.
It’s not a bad thing to place your life side by side by someone and learn from their success. When next you see someone who is living the kind of life you would like to have, instead of thinking thoughts like “what am I doing with my life?” or “I’m so useless” ask yourself “what can I learn from this person” “what are they doing that if I did could fetch me better results” and also recognize that those people probably did not get there in one day so don’t feel bad when you don’t get to where you want to at the speed of light.
- Realize that most of the challenges you face are not unique to only you: There’s so much comfort in knowing that someone else has gone through something similar to what you have experienced. This is why it is so important to not isolate yourself when you are dealing with something. If you reach out to people and explain your plight, you would be shocked to find out that they too have experienced something similar to what you are dealing with.
- Have a good support system: A strong support system is very important. Good friends or loved ones can give us good counsel and help us recognize when we are being too hard on ourselves.
- Take things one step at a time: You have to realize that success takes time. Often times the people we compare ourselves with that make us start looking down on ourselves, have been doing the thing they are succeeding at for quite a number of years.
As a person who is just starting out in a field, it would be self-sabotage to compare yourself with someone who has been in the field for 10 years. A house is not built in one day; neither is a car. Success takes time and intentionality. So don’t be hard on yourself when things are not going as fast as you want it to.
Not being hard on ourselves is an integral part of self-care. Being hard on yourself will only leave you burnout, guilt ridden and stagnant. Give yourself a little grace.
There’s only one you in this world and you are the number one person responsible for taking care of yourself.
Learn to treat yourself the way you would treat a close friend. We are so kind to others but when it comes to ourselves we speak like we are our own worst enemy. I want you to know that you are important and your feelings and emotions are just as important as anyone one else’s. Self-care is not selfish.